Lately, I’ve been feeling like Josef Grand in Camus’ The Plague who spends an interminable amount of time rewriting the same sentence about the beautiful horsewoman riding through the Bois du Boulogne on a May morning, or was it riding on a May morning through the Bois du Boulogne.
I have been trying for days to catch a particular feeling in a haiku. Below are two versions I have come up with.
The cry of sea gulls
and I am a child again
in holiday mood.
Sixty years later –
the cry of sea gulls recalls
summer holidays.
The problem is that neither of these captures exactly what I am looking for. When I was a child my grandfather owned a bach (
One of my friends finds it difficult to compress an idea or feeling into a three line haiku because she needs a “Once upon a time…”. My poem about the sea gulls also requires a “Once upon a time…”.
And this next one is no better.
sitting desolate
in an autumnal garden –
then a grey warbler
The only way I can indicate the wonderful lifting of mood I experience when I hear a grey warbler is to suggest that I was desolate first. But I can feel as happy as Larry and then be immensely elated by the sound of a grey warbler. Again, when I hear one, I am running down the track to the beach past the high grass with the smell of dry hay and broom seeds popping, round the corner and under the cool of the pine trees, over the stile, and down the root-sculpted path. So once more the poem tells only half of the story and not even the right half.
Thus it can be seen that all poetry is fiction.
Hello Diana
ReplyDeleteI have been away and then had a virus but now back 'on air'. Haiku's are interesting. I read a long poem once which was a string of haiku and quite successful. Your second last paragraph, though, before 'Thus it can be seen that all poetry is fiction', was your real poem for me. I can feel the track and path, see the grass, hear the popping seeds ....
Love
Jacquie (Pryor - Google always says I'm anonymous and I'm not!)
the infinite now
ReplyDeletegive thanks for natures music
our joyous journey
575 whose counting ☺
continuing to be inspired by yours truly
Hamish
Your haiku evokes beautiful summer thoughts and is successful in giving me dreamy thoughts and distractions from the tasks of my Friday morning. Thank you for the text on Alice's birthday. We were in Wellington at the time visiting Sophie who was home briefly from Sydney. And of course today is Olivia's birthday, 25!
ReplyDeleteLots of love
Viv
So wonderful to discover you. We share a love of haiku and an unfortunate diagnosis. I look forward to following your blog.
ReplyDeleteJudy