If a succession of full stops
constitutes a straight line,
then I am meditating.
But the function of the mind is to think.
Concept formation is important
for the human race. I have watched
a toddler who had learnt that an animal
with four legs and a tail was a dog,
greet my cat with a triumphant
woof woof. I have known of an old woman
whose concepts were unraveling
present milk tokens at the shop
and placed them in her teapot.
Despite this, we believe that an empty mind
furthers our spiritual development.
We focus on our breathing, a mantra
or a candle flame. I have tried
listening to a familiar
and well loved piece of music:
the Kyrie from the B Minor Mass
but do not succeed.
The empty part of my mind is squeezed
by thoughts such as: ‘ I am not thinking’,
or taxonomic statements like
‘ this is a wax eye’, ‘a green finch’,
‘I have cold feet’, ‘I need a drink’.
My illness requires me to concentrate
on the smallest action or I cannot do it.
I concentrate only in snippets;
I meditate staccato.