I have decided that I don't want eulogies at my funeral, I want valedictions. 'Eulogy' means to speak well of; valediction means to say farewell, which leaves more room for honesty. You can say: ' I didn't like this, this, or that; but I did like these other things'.
So, if I were writing valedictions for my friends, I would have a few grumbles. But explanations first.
I am, in Jungian terms, a high intuitive. And I have honed my skills for 55 years by studying literature: noticing subtleties, nuances, what is said where, how it is said, how often and where it is left out all together. This makes me wrongly expect the same level of intuition in my friends.
As well, I have a different sense of time from the rest of you. I have no immediate family and the M.S. has stolen my ability to involve myself in hobbies, entertainments and travel. This gives me an entirely different perspective on my life and other peoples'.
Thus, I send photos of my garden and receive the response “what lovely photos”. But I have left this garden 'disastrously' only twice since December 1999, so the response I was looking for was: “what beautiful prison walls”.
Similarly, I commissioned Anthony Ritchie to set some poems to music. This was my talisman, my grandbaby, something to throw into the future where I might be remembered a little. Some people who have received the CD have not commented at all, some have said “how lovely” and only a few have responded with real depth and appreciation.
They would be my grumbles, but as well as the grumbles I want to acknowledge with gratitude and love my friends who have stayed with me through decades of time and across oceans.